Forgiveness- Matthew 18:21-35

Last week we heard Jesus' teaching about how to handle conflict in the church. Jesus taught us to act before the injury deepens, by going one on one with the person who wronged you. And one of His key points was if we go to the one who has hurt us, and they listen, we will have won that brother or sister back.
But that's only part of the relationship. It tells us what to do if the person who has hurt us agrees to listen and repent. But that part of Jesus' message doesn't tell us what to do with our leftovers; like our left over feelings of betrayal, our leftover feelings of anger, and our leftover feelings of hurt.
Leftovers can be kind of interesting. If you had lobster to eat yesterday, eating those leftovers can be really ono… if you happen to love lobster. But what if you hate, or allergic to, shellfish? Eating those leftovers can taste yucky and even make you swell up and be sick. Those kinds of leftovers aren't good for you.
Or have you ever looked in your icebox and found a leftover that was unrecognizable? You may have noticed it because you saw a container in the back of a shelf. Or you may have smelled something that was fouling up your entire icebox. You find that rotten thing and say, "YUCK!" as you hold it up delicately to throw it away so that it won't contaminate you.
Scotty has a habit of finding a plastic container that looks like it has been filled with helium gas. Then he walks over to me, starts to open it and asks, "Do you think this is still good?" I have to tell him, "Don't give me that stinky stuff! Throw it away!"
Unless we deal with our leftover hurts and feelings, they can get bloated and stink up our entire lives. And even though they tasted bitter at first, we often go back and try to relive them again.
Here is a common scenario. You are having a good day. It may be at home, at work, or in town. Suddenly you see someone who hurt you, or you think about what happened that time long ago, and suddenly the day gets dark. You start to relive the event, replay the scene. Immediately you went from a peaceful day to a storm. Your muscles get tense, your stomach gets sour, and you might even feel yourself start to shake. Suddenly those leftovers take over your life and your day.
The disciple Peter knew all about leftovers. He was the hot head of the group. As soon as Jesus talked about how to resolve conflict, Peter aimed at Jesus with this question, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?"
A bit of Judeo culture here; 7 is the Biblical number for perfection. So there is a possible meaning that Peter was asking if he would be perfect by forgiving 7 times. We don't know whether Peter thought he was being really generous, was making a grand sweeping gesture, or whether he was sincerely asking about what to do if someone had habitually hurt him. Either way, Jesus shocked Peter by His answer.

"Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." Even that doesn't carry the weight of the answer. The Aramaic translation is 70 TIMES 7. But the weight of how Jesus wants us to deal with leftovers is not 7, or 77, or even 490 times. Jesus was clear that He was talking about an indefinite number being how many times we should forgive.
And we will carry the weight of those hurts around like smelly leftovers if we let unforgiveness rule our lives. They may not be giving off an odor until the container is open, but unless they are dealt with, they will get more and more rotten.
This week I've been thinking that when we've been hurt really badly, it's probably easier to say, "I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" than "You were wrong and I forgive you."
How we handle the people in our lives that make things difficult often affects the flavor of our whole life. One of our common expressions at Grace is, "don't let Satan steal your joy." Dear sisters and brothers, one of the biggest tools Satan uses to steal our joy is unforgiveness.
When was the last time you said, "You were wrong. And I forgive you." … and meant it?

Today, I want us all to begin the journey to forgive seventy times seven times. Today I want to encourage us to learn to forgive in Jesus' name… for good. Forgive for good means forgive forever. Let it go. Bury the hatchet. And forgive for good means that great good comes from forgiving. It's good for the glory of God. It's good for the person you forgive. And it's good for you. Why? Forgiving others sets you free.
Jesus told a story. It's a good one with a scary twist at the end. It's about a man who owed the king 10,000 talents and couldn't pay.

In the story, the king is God the Father. And we are the servant who owes the huge debt. "When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made." 10,000 talents. Who has 8 billion dollars in their piggy bank? It's huge. There is no way to pay that debt. So the king ordered that the whole family would be sold into slavery and everything they own go to the great rummage sale to pay the debt off.
Verse 26 "So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, `Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything." He begs for mercy… and gets it.
The master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. Sound familiar? Jesus came to forgive the debt we owe and could never hope to pay. Our sins make it impossible to ever pay God back. With great love and mercy, Jesus paid in full. The scars on His hands, feet, side, and head testify to the price that He endured to cover our debt. It wasn't free. It wasn't easy. But it was and is final. Jesus covered more than 8 billion dollars worth. His blood covers all of our sins so that we can walk away from the King's presence completely debt free. Pretty cool. Very wonderful.
Now, the servant leaves the palace, debt free. He is probably dancing and singing about the wonderful king 'cause he is forgiven. But as he goes around the block, he runs into another guy who owes him 25 bucks. What happens to the song of praise and thanks? It's replaced by stinky leftovers. He yanks the man by the collar and says, "you better pay me that 25 bucks or you're gonna get it!" In just a few moments his joy is gone. It has been replaced by unforgiveness and anger. Satan has just used leftovers to stink up his life.
Now the other debtor also fell to his knees "Have patience with me, and I will pay you." Does our guy think, "Hey, I've heard this before! It's what I said to the king and he forgave me!" Nope. His leftover unforgiveness gives off a stench as he refused to forgive the debt. To make it worse, he threw the other one into prison until the small debt was paid in full.
See any hypocrisy there? Maybe small kine?
The king did. He seized the big debtor and threw him in jail because he had no forgiveness and mercy. Then Jesus sent the zinger. "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters."
Ouch.
But let's not stop at guilt. Let's learn to live as free people. Remember Romans 14:7-8, "We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's."
Forgiveness like this is impossible to do on our own. And sometimes it takes years for the process to be complete. But we need to decide today that it is time to start. It is true that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. It is also true that Jesus said that if someone forces us to go with them one mile, to go with them for 2 miles.
And remember this - forgiving others sets you free. When we look to Christ for our forgiveness, and let the Holy Spirit clean our leftovers, we live to the Lord as free women and men with NO leftovers to stink up our lives and steal our joy. 2 Cor 5:17 says it like this, "If anyone is in Christ, we are a new creation. The old has passed away and behold, all things are new."
Let me finalize this point by asking a question. Who wants their life and their family to be full of love? Here's what Jesus said in Luke 7. "Therefore, I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little." If I may expand this… forgive little, get little love. Forgive plenty, get plenty love. Forgive massively, get massive amounts of love.
Let's change gears a bit…
We've heard it said "Forgive and forget" right? Well, I say forgive and remember…
When someone hurts you, you have to remember "I've been forgiven a huge debt by a great King. He's had patience with me. He's released me. He's forgiven me. And I should do the same with that person who's hurt me!"

So, you've sacrificed much to raise your child. You even took them to church. Now, you can't believe how he mouths off at you. Things have been said that cut deeply. You are wounded. You can't let it go. It affects how you act towards this child and spreads to the rest of the family. You may not even be able to pray for him. Sounds like leftovers. Sounds like a jail, a prison of unforgiveness. Don't forget. Forgive and remember. Remember God's forgiveness when you were a wayward child and far away. Know what happens if you let Jesus clean those leftovers? Love. Love for the child, more love for the entire family, and love for the Lord. Remember that forgiving others sets you free.

You think your mom is the worst in town? And maybe she is. She's been distracted and stuck in her own world. You've been yelled at, beat up, and lied to. The hardest thing you ever had to do was give her something for Mother's Day after you became a Christian. You wonder why God gave you such a bad mother when everyone else seems to have one who they make songs about. Every time you hear her voice, you get tense and freeze up. Sounds like leftovers. Sounds like prison. If that's you, to forgive for good… release. You need to remember that forgiving others sets you free. And with that freedom comes more love for our entire life.
OK so you married him and he's not meeting your expectations. He's letting you down in lots of ways. You are bitter and resentful and angry. It seems that love has grown cold. It seems that every time you talk, you rehash old hurts and end up angry. Sounds like leftovers… jail… prison. Want your relationship with your husband or wife to thrive? Forgive them and start again. To forgive for good… first receive the forgiveness that comes from knowing Jesus as your Lord. Remember how much you have failed to meet God's expectations for you, yet the King has shown you love and mercy. Remember that forgiving others sets you free. Let go. Then anticipate the joy and true love that comes from being together in the Lord.

Why forgive? It makes us more like Jesus. Even from the cross He said, "Father forgive them, they know not what they do."
Now it's easy to think that Jesus had an edge and cheated on the forgiveness thing because He was God. But Jesus was also fully human and he carried ALL of our unforgiveness and hurts on His back. He didn't cheat. He won by love. And the forgiveness He has given us has set us free, especially if we can extend that forgiveness outwards.

Isn't it time to get left over the moldy smelly things that keep getting in the way of the joy God has for us? Isn't it time to live freely? Want to win the battle of unforgiveness? Be like Jesus. Ask the Lord to help you win by love. Ask Jesus for the power to forgive. Take a step of faith. Forgiving others sets us free. Let us be free indeed! AMEN

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