The 5 Things -

An Unplanned Message April 18, 2010 at Grace Church

John 21:1-19
21:1 After this Jesus revealed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, and he revealed himself in this way. 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (called the Twin), Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples were together. 3 Simon Peter said to them, "I am going fishing." They said to him, "We will go with you." They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
4 Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. 5 Jesus said to them, "Children, do you have any fish?" They answered him, "No." 6 He said to them, "Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. 7 That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. 8 The other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards off.
9 When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread. 10 Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish that you have just caught." 11 So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, 153 of them. And although there were so many, the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." Now none of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. 14 This was now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead.
Jesus and Peter
15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." 16 He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep." 17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep. 18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go." 19 (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, "Follow me."

If you weren't there on Sunday, this is how it happened. The service was going along pretty normally. Mahina read the OT lesson, epistle and we responsively read the Psalm of the day. We stood to hear the Gospel. But something strange happened. As Lynette began to read, she began to cry. As she continued to read, by verse 15, she was sobbing. But she continued to read between her tears. Scotty walked up from the back of the church to hold her up. She managed to finish the message but was clearly overcome by emotion. Scotty leaned over and told her, "You'd better explain to them why you are crying. She was clearly unable to say anything and told him, "You have to do it." This is a re-construction of what followed. If anything was left out, embellished or added to this re-construction, we apologize. Lynette was asked on Tuesday if it could be written down. Grab an hanky, sit down, and hold on. The Holy Spirit showed up with a very different message than Lynette had prepared. (That message can be found on the website too.) Here we go…..scotty is speaking…

I guess I need to share with you why Lynette is crying. This scripture had a powerful impact on her life. Let me try and explain.
During the 90's we could see that the Episcopal Church was drifting from its Biblical roots. One of the most visible images of that drift was the push for ordaining openly gay priests and sanctifying same-sex marriages. This was a concern to many bishops, priests and others in the church who felt that if the church took that radical stance it was a sign of an apostate church that had left its Biblical faith. Lynette had decided that if that were to happen, she would have to leave the Episcopal Church and leave all of you because she could not represent that church to you.

When she was ordained, she believed that the Holy Spirit, via the Church gave her the honor and the covering to serve you as Kahu, as a priest. With that covering removed, she believed that she could not continue.
In 2003 the Episcopal Church decided to ordain a gay priest in an openly partnered relationship, Gene Robinson, as a Bishop. When the decision came down she said, "I'm out of here. I have to leave." It broke her heart.
I was traveling at that time and we had Promise Keepers meetings in the back of the church. As she picked me up from the airport to bring me to the meeting, I got a call from one of my mentors, Jack, who was on the mainland. He told her, "Just because a bunch of people in a meeting vote on something, it does not negate the Great Commandment to love each other. And it doesn't negate Jesus' words to go to all nations and make disciples. The words of Jesus to Peter are words to you, "Feed my sheep."
We had just gotten off the phone when we arrived here. As she walked in the back door by the altar, John Aki was standing in the rear of the church. He called out, "My sister. I heard there are some troubles. But I have a word from the Lord for you. Jesus said, 'Feed my sheep." You need to feed His sheep.
Lynette was stunned. In just 6 or 7 minutes, 2 men, 3000 miles apart gave her the same scripture. She is convinced that she heard the Lord speak to her that day. And that is why she stayed here, feeding the Lord's sheep for 7 more years.
Now Lynette doesn't say that she heard from the Lord lightly. She believes with all of her heart that she has only heard God speak to her 3 times.
The first time was in the 80's when she was very, very busy doing everything. One day she clearly heard an audible voice that said, "Step back." She was certain that it was God speaking to her. She was ready to quit the priesthood right then. But as she shared it with a few people and they prayed about it, something different came up rather that STEP DOWN. All the people she prayed with said they felt that the Lord was telling her to BACK away: that she was so busy doing everything that none of us could step up and use our gifts. So rather than stepping down, she stepped back to allow us to find and use our gifts.
The second time Lynette believes she heard from the Lord was in 2003 when she heard Him say, "Feed my sheep."
The third time was this summer when she was in the hospital fighting for every breath. I didn't know if she would make it out of the hospital, but during that time she clearly heard the Lord say, "It's time to leave." And that is when she knew it was time to leave the Episcopal Church. It meant that soon she would have to stop serving Grace Church as your Kahu. She said that if her health didn't improve that she would leave immediately; otherwise she would stay until her anniversary date in April. Thankfully she got better and here we are in April.

The church sat silently. They looked a bit stunned. Scotty looked back at Lynette and asked if she wanted to give her sermon or if she wanted him to talk about the 5 things. She said, "Do the 5 things." So, still leaning on the wall where he had been standing when she was reading, Scotty continued on.

I've been thinking about why the Lord kept Lynette here at Grace for 9 months. Lynette has said that it sometimes felt like she had 9 months to give birth to a new church.
But a few weeks ago it struck me why the Lord allowed this time. I know that these 9 months have been stressful and left many people with uncertainty. But then I realized that God was using this time to do something good.
When Lynette serves as Hospice Chaplain she often deals with people who ask why God made them wait while a love one was slowly dying. Lynette teaches that the extra time isn't a curse, but actually a gift from God to say 5 things. Too many times we hang out with our families but leave things unsaid. When we know a loved one is dying, the Lord gives us time to say those important things to give us all closure.
I have actually thought about this so much that it has kept me up at night. And I was going to briefly share the 5 things next week in my Thank Offering. Looks like God has another plan. So rather than leave anything unsaid, I would like to share the 5 things with you now.

Number 1: I love you. We, the Schaefers, love you. It has been an honor and a blessing to share our lives with you. We have birthed our children, buried our loved ones, and grown in Christ together. We have all been through so much together. And that is one reason it is so hard to leave. Lynette has really struggled with leaving you all. It is like her heart is being ripped out of her chest.
And she wants to make it clear that she is not leaving you. She has to leave the Episcopal Church. If there was any way she could stay here with you all, she would. But just as it has been clear that she needs to go, it has also been made very clear that she cannot be here with you at Grace Church. She cannot come back here to Grace for 3-5 years.
When Jesus made the distinction of the difference between the good shepherd and the hired hand, He said that when a bear or a lion or any kind of trouble came along, that the hired hand would run away. But the good shepherd would stay and fight for their sheep. She knows that Jesus is the Good Shepherd but that He has entrusted His sheep, all of us to her.
On our first night here we sat in the parlor of Dick and Barbara's home and Lynette said, "I will stay here as long as you will have me." Unfortunately, it hasn't happened that way. And it is her love for you and her breaking that promise that makes her feel like a failure.
We love you. That's the first thing. And we are a part of you.
The second thing is Thank You. Before I go on, I want to let you know you have been had; been deceived by Lynette. If you recall from a few weeks ago as she blessed the Hawaiian quilt pall she thanked God saying she had really wanted to design a community who really loved each other, served each other, and prayed for each other.
So up to the early 90's she had done traditional Prayer Book worship but felt something was missing. How could we get people to begin to share and really, really pray for each other? One Sunday we went to St Matthew's in Waimanalo. As part of their service people would walk up and drop money in a can and say that they were thankful for a birthday or anniversary. She thought, "That's it!" If we can get people to share how they are glad their child hit a home run or that they were thankful for a birthday or anniversary, that could be the start. After feeling comfortable about sharing thanksgivings, they might even feel free to ask for prayer for that sick child, or injured sister. And one day, they might even be able to say, "Could you please pray for me?"
And then we could begin really praying for each other and loving each other through our hard times. And as we have become a praying church, the Lord has blessed us and answered so many of our prayers.
And our Thank Offering also became a way to share our gifts outside these walls of Grace Church.
And as we heard in our Thank Offering this morning, someone shared that it had been a trying week for their family but that the Lord was in control. We have become a grateful church and a praying church.
So now that you have learned that you have all been tricked, let's continue with

number 2, THANK YOU.
We are so thankful to the Lord for all the blessings He has brought to our family through you. We baptized our kids, married them, and even buried them together. And we want to say thank you so, so much.
We also want to thank you for the honor of allowing Lynette to serve as your priest and the honor of you listening to her each Sunday. We all know there are other things happening on Sundays. When you come to church and listen to her preach it's an honor that we do not take lightly and we want to say thank you for letting her bring the Word of God into your lives. And thank you for the ways you have served us and shared your gifts with us and one another. We are thankful for our relationship with God and our relationship with each of you. And we want to say, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Number 3 is kind of hard. Please forgive me.

Please forgive us. We have not been perfect. We know that we have hurt you. In fact, we know that there are people who are not here in church because we hurt them. It has never been our intent to hurt anyone and we have never tried to be malicious. But we know that because we are not perfect we have hurt each of you at one time or another. And so we ask you for your forgiveness.
We have tried to live openly and transparently. It was a conscious decision early in Lynette's ministry to not be ho'okano or the type of Priest who is high faluting and aloof, waiting for everyone to serve her. In fact, for the first 10 years or so, she cleaned the church by herself until Mary Beth said she had to let others help her. I was pretty sure that she was the only priest in the whole state who was sweeping and mopping their church floors and cleaning our toilets.
But that kind of transparency reveals our flaws. And our shortcomings have hurt people. We truly have done things we shouldn't have and have left undone many things we should have done. We have not tried to hurt or offend anyone and we are sorry when we have had people who were hurt. And we ask you in Jesus name to forgive us.

The fourth thing is: I forgive you.

It is important for us to let you know that we forgive you. One of the saddest things we hear is when someone shares with us that they have carried around shame because of something they said or did years ago. Most of the time, we weren't even aware of the incident but they carried that burden around with them. Just as we have not been perfect, neither have you. But we forgive you. We are walking away from here carrying nothing but love for you. We have forgiven you in the Name of Jesus just as we have asked you to forgive us in Jesus' Name.
In every family, there is some type of dysfunction. We hurt each other, we offend each other and we forgive each other. That's what families do. So there is no need to carry any of that around anymore. The Lord has given Lynette this extra time here so that we can say, we forgive you.
I know how important this was in my own life. My mother's father and my own father died just a few weeks apart. I had gone to the mainland to my grandfather's funeral. As some of you may have heard I was not a good son. I was always in trouble, was a chronic under-achiever, and had a very stormy relationship with my father. He picked me up at the airport and was angry because I had a cardboard box as a suitcase. He took me directly to K-mart to buy me a suitcase because, "No #@$%%^ son of mine is going to have a cardboard box for a suitcase." And boy, could he swear. But I resisted and argued with him. I found myself in the K-mart parking lot with my fists up, ready to get into a fistfight with my dad. Suddenly I realized, "Hey. This is my father. As a Christian how can I be disrespecting him like this?" So I dropped my hands (and my pride) and let him help me.
During my grandfather's funeral he got very sick. Rather than come home to Hawaii I stayed on the mainland for a week and sat with him every day and night in the hospital. We talked and forgave each other and made our peace. He sent me back home to Hawaii with his blessing. He told me he was proud of me and my new job as a refuse collector on Oahu.
A week later, he was dead. I had no regrets. We had made our peace. All the rest of the family had unresolved issues. I have always thanked the Lord that I made peace with my father after years of disappointing him and then God took him quickly-before I had the chance to screw up and disappoint him again.

The fifth and final reason God gives us extra time is to say Goodbye.
Often when Lynette teaches this, people aren't ready to hear this. Just the other day I spoke with someone whose mother is very ill and imminently dying. I got through the first 4 things and he was doing OK. But when I got to goodbye, he gulped and choked up. Most of us aren't ready to say good bye when we first hear this message. But after saying I love you, thank you, will you forgive me, and I forgive you, and with some extra time, they are able to finally say goodbye.
And when we get to that point, we free them to go into the arms of Jesus peacefully.
I can remember when our daughter Kanani died and as Moku took her body to the morgue I said goodbye to her. And then I asked Moku if he could please leave the lights on in the mortuary because Kanani was afraid of the dark. But I knew I was sending her freely into the loving arms of Jesus.

So here are the 5 things. Here is one reason why Lynette was given 9 months more at Grace, so that we could all say these 5 things to each other.
In fact, when you think about it, maybe God didn't give us 9 months. Lynette was heading out the door in 2003. The Lord actually gave us 7 more years to close things out. And what a seven year run it has been. We have shared together. We have grown together. We have developed a hunger for God's Word and have had many Bible studies together. We have prayed together and have witnessed God's miraculous answer to those prayers together. And now we have had a few months to say: I love you; thank you; please forgive me; I forgive you; and good bye.
So keep your eyes on Jesus. Keep focused on His Word and His truth. And keep on loving each other. The Apostle Paul said that if we sacrificed everything and had miracles happen, but we did it without love- all it would be is like an empty gong. Without love, even mighty deeds mean nothing. Keep praying together and a hui hou!

Shortly after this message John and Alyne stood up and said, "The Kikukawa family loves you. We thank you. You have both been spiritual parents to me. The Kikukawas forgive you and thank you for your forgiveness. But I am not ready to say goodbye yet."
Then Auntie Noe asked the entire congregation to stand, form a circle, hold hands and pray together. After we gathered and held each other's hands Alyne led us in prayer.

Return to Sermon page.